Almost every man has worried about his sexual stamina at some point. Sexual performance is of special importance to men, and most guys want to do everything they can to make their partners feel good. More specifically, men want to last as long as possible without feeling rushed or dismayed by performance issues like early ejaculation.
Early ejaculation affects millions of men, and it can be a complicated issue to treat. Many men are often too embarrassed to talk to their doctors about these kinds of issues, and some don’t even like talking to their partners about the problem. The good news is that there are several ways you can increase your sexual stamina.
Consider the following:
Masturbate more. No, really! Self-stimulation is good for you. It’s a healthy, natural, and powerful way for you to take charge of your sexuality and your sexual response in particular. This is especially true if you suffer from early ejaculation. You can use self-stimulation to help shift your sexual response and improve your stamina. Do so with the start-and-stop method. Consider your sexual response on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being orgasmic and 1 being a state of nonarousal. Stimulate yourself until you are at an 8, and then stop stimulation and allow yourself to calm down completely. Bring yourself back up to a 4, and then slowly build to an 8. Get used to taking your response up and down like this so that you will learn to control yourself before you reach the point of no return. This will help you to be more comfortable and relaxed during intercourse, because when you feel yourself about to reach orgasm, you will be able to slow things down and scale back on the sexual response scale.
Foreplay is your friend. One of the main reasons that men want to last longer in bed is because they want their partners to have a good time and to reach orgasm as well. But the truth is that the majority of women cannot reach orgasm through intercourse alone. This is why foreplay, manual stimulation, and oral sex are all key parts of passionate and mutually enjoyable sex. Hence, instead of stressing out over lasting “long enough,” focus on what makes both you and your partner feel good. Implement more touch and oral sex, and intersperse foreplay throughout your intercourse; when you feel yourself about to reach orgasm, slow things down and focus on giving your partner oral pleasure or stimulating her manually. This can help her to reach orgasm all while allowing you to delay your own pleasure.
Use sexual-performance tools. There are a number of ways you can help to increase your stamina. In fact, just recently, a new medication for early ejaculation was approved by the FDA. Promescent is a topical medication that is applied to the penis 10 minutes before sexual activity, and it helps a man to better manage the sensations of sex through desensitization. However, unlike other topical medications for early ejaculation, Promescent absorbs below the skin where the nerve endings that control ejaculation are located. A man receives only the dosage needed to control his ejaculation while still allowing him to enjoy the sensations of sex, and since it is absorbed into the skin, it will not negatively impact his partner’s sensations.
Use lubrication. A study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men who used lubrication in conjunction with condoms lasted longer in bed than men who did not. Just remember to use water-based or silicone-based lubrication when using condoms. (Oil-based lubricants can break down the condom and decrease its efficacy.)
Rethink your expectations. Many men wrongly believe that their partners want them to last as long as possible, but the truth is that drawn-out sex sessions aren’t the key to sexual pleasure. In fact, a study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the optimal time for intercourse was three to 13 minutes, and that the average couple had sex for around 7.3 minutes. (But keep in mind these numbers do not include foreplay.) Hence, lasting for 30 minutes or more isn’t the answer to great sex. If you want to add more passion and excitement to your love life, focus on adding more variety and spontaneity through different positions, more foreplay, and a combination of oral sex and manual stimulation along with intercourse. The key isn’t to last as long as possible, but to make the time that you are together as memorable and passionate as possible.
[From Sex Expert: Laura Berman, PhD]
