Hey, welcome to this week’s roundup of all the hot gossip swirling around town

Flavia Tumusiime’s poor love

American artiste, J Cole must be must the unhappiest man on God’s green earth right now. His ‘crush’ she who he, allegedly, vibed, thanks to her enticing looks, and curvaceous body, is seriously in love with someone a thousand times poorer than he. The poor guy is Andrew Kabura.  He is a TV presenter and an emcee. Gossip peddlers are saying, Flavia has moved into Kabura’s pad, and that they are living like man and wife. They are residing in a small apartment somewhere in Ntinda, Kasana, mbu. We are happy that Flavia is finally settling after being tossed about from one relationship to another. We only hope the playboy in Kabura’s pants will settle too. There has previously been massive wandering on his part. Naysayers a doubting whether this relationship will thrive, but we really think it will, and our reason is; Flavia has seen all the men, and Kabura has seen all the women. That makes the two of them.

Sorry, J Cole. We know you own plush mansions where our darling would have moved in if only she accepted your advance, but see, Flavia’s heart knows what it wants.

Another play boy goes with Juliet Underwood

With Kabura off the hunting fields, we were left with Farouk Sempala whose only claim to fame is chasing and sleeping with celebrity faces like Zari Hassan. Last weekend, Farouk was snatched. He was kwajulad to Juliet Underwood’s parents, and their pictures have been circulating on social media. Farouk is really a social media sweetheart, especially amongst the women. His nudes leaked, so everyone knows for sure, he is well endowed in his pants. Since those nudes, Farouk has not been chasing, it is the girls that have been chasing. Girls have been going at him like a headless chicken, but that now must have come to end. Mr. big prick has been taken, and we kindly console you’ll ladies who had a thing for him. Our advice is that you collect your pieces together and chase after other men, for instance, Olara Otunu.

Dorcus Inzikuru finds her Gold

Athletes are doing us proud out there in the Gold Coast, Australia. Thank you Cheptegei. Thanks, Chesang. You have put our country on the world map. When you come back home, we’ll send Bebe Cool to lend you his bragging skills. And you’ll teach him how to put this country on the map, the best way, other than talking about his wife’s knickers.

Anyway, we are sorry to mention Bebe, and country heroes in the same line. Let’s congratulate Dorcus Inzikuru who got hitched this week. Her man, her Gold.

Angella Katumba wails over

Have you heard Angella Katatumba sing? Well, her kind of music is good funerals, not hang out places. She has been wailing on social media after being allegedly thumped at Chicken Tonight. She is very good at wailing. And until she starts doing real music for us, we won’t be rewarding her our full attention.

Bye!