We’ve been married for 5 yrs. I'm 30 he's 35. When we met one of the things my husband loved about me was my high sex drive which was all good for the first couple years of our marriage. Sex with him started to slow down after 3 years or so nothing drastic but not as frequent as it was early on. After a while I started to look at porn now and then when I was feeling especially horny. Eventually that led me to chatting, sexting, sharing nude pix of myself to strangers. The thought of these men jerking off because of me was a thrill I'd been missing really since wedding. I eventually ended up going on whatsapp groups and meeting up with someone just for sex. Afterwards I felt sooooo guilty I swore off all that I was doing and that lasted for a while. I kept replaying that meets up in my head when I masturbated and the guy would text me from time to time. After a while I was back to sexting and looking on whatsapp. I did it again and again. Now it's like sex consumes my mind all the time. The thrill/risk of meeting a stranger for sex is like a drug now.
I know I'm a horrible person/wife and I know a lot of you will say I should leave my husband if this is what I want to do but I do honestly love him very much and our kids and the life I have with him. If sex were good between us I'd like to think I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. And yes I've talked MANY times to my husband about needing/wanting more sex with him and it's good for a few days or a week then it's back to the way it was.
Is it so wrong to have sex with other men if there's no true feelings beyond sexual? If I'm a good wife to my husband and good mother to my kids is it really so bad?
